"Today Show" Tells Story of Divorce Resulting from Long Term Care

An emotional segment on a recent Today Show episode featured a wife who divorced her husband after 44 years of marriage in order to protect assets from a a long term illness. Suggesting the divorce, and also appearing on the show, was Massachusetts attorney Hyman Darling, a member of the National Association of Elder Law Attorneys (NAELA).

The husband of "Roberta" (not her real name) was diagnosed with dementia after the couple had been married more than 40 years. When she became unable to care for him at home, Roberta moved her husband to a nursing home and began paying bills of between $7,500 and $8,000 a month. After she had gone through $75,000, her husband's neurologist suggested that she find "a really good lawyer."

Roberta found Darling, an elder law attorney with the firm of Bacon & Wilson, P.C., based in Springfield, Massachusetts. Darling suggested to her that, as a last resort, she could terminate her marriage. This would preserve her remaining assets and allow her husband to quickly qualify for Medicaid coverage of his nursing home care.

"I was shocked, I was horrified, and I was angry," Roberta said on camera. "But I did what I had to do to survive." The divorce became final one day before the couple's 44th anniversary. Nevertheless, she says, "I never stopped feeling married."

The segment also featured commentary on Roberta's situation by Ken Budd, features editor at AARP Magazine, and Dr. Janet Taylor, a psychiatrist. Budd calls Roberta's solution an "extreme" one that is becoming increasingly more common as couples seek to protect assets for a community spouse.

"These aren't people who are trying to beat the system," Budd says. "These are people who the system has beaten down so they have to resort to...desperate measures. . . People think Medicare is going to cover everything. That's not the case."   Budd described the technique as one of "last resort." 

Several years ago, Dayton Ohio Attorney Michael Millonig made headlines when he commented that aggressive Ohio Medicaid resource recovery tactics compelled him to increasingly consider advising Ohio seniors to move to to other states or divorce in order to protect assets needed for support.  

Couples who plan in advance with the help of an elder law attorney are certainly less likely to find themselves having to make such drastic choices. 

To view the Today Show segment, which aired March 13, 2010, click here.